Monday, January 4, 2010

on a serious note

last night i was reading a blog that i follow call genetically enhanced, this blogging mom came across a facebook friend that was using a hurtful word... the "R" word. and decided to take action. she sent and email to this "friend" and let her know how that word affects her and her family.
i wished i would have the courage to approach people like that, i find it really difficult to say something to a stranger more so than to a friend or family member. lisa from genetically enhanced asked what would we say to someone... to make them more aware, well i have written to a my close friends back in oct. and until now have only shared this very personal email with my sisters and sister-in-laws. i wanted to share it with all of you now, since i notice how after i read lisa's blog.... it made me think... i can do that!... i could say something to a stranger to make them more aware. so thanks lisa:)
here was my email that i sent to my friends,

hi everyone,
i was hoping i could ask you all to try something for me. first if your not aware october is Down syndrome awareness month:) not sure if you all know but with the diagnosis of Ds the child will have mild to moderate retardation, so on behalf of that, well and the sake of my feeling and my sons,... i was hoping you all (not saying anyone does) could not use the word "retarded" or "retard" as slang.
i know that before max i wasn't really aware of what that word really means and how much it hurts loved ones and people with mental and physical retardation to hear. i don't mean to lecture or offend anyone, and i know it seems like now a days you have to be careful to say anything, but i was hoping for me (a friend) you all could just work on your awareness of how and when you use that word. and to say... please don't use that word around me and my son wouldn't have the full effect as to try to not say that word at all, to only do it half way kind of defeats the purpose, at least that's the way i look at it. i really hope people (you.. my friends) don't feel i am over doing "my child has a disability" but i really feel everything i do is for my kids, and sure i didn't plan on have a baby with Ds, but i do so that changes things for me and i guess for the people who love me (that's you) at least i feel it should. so if you all could just try this out for me i would greatly appreciate it.

oh one last thing is to not feel bad if you let the word slip at first to change a habit is hard especially one that your not fully aware of. the big thing is that you'll try, it would mean the world to me.
- your friend

i feel my got my point across and i received wonderful heart felt feed back from my friends. to all you other moms and family members out there that have someone truly special in their lives... i hope this was of some help, i hope it inspired the strength it takes to approach a love one, friend or even stranger to STOP the inappropriate use of the "R" word.


  1. I LOVE your letter. I think I might steal it and send it out to my loved ones or maybe even post it on my blog, if it's ok...? ;-)

  2. great letter. when family say this word around me I just tell them. only the same one or two keep saying it, out of habit I guess but I still tell them to please stop. I tell strangers too if Noah is with me

  3. What a great idea...address it before it's an issue. I like it. Good job and good letter!

  4. Wow....that was great! I have spoken with family and friends about this, but I think the way you wrote it in a letter was so well written! I have a really hard time saying it to strangers (unless it is one of my students).

  5. Awesome letter. So glad I found your blog. : )