i was hoping some of you would have some advice to share. for a while now i've been wondering how to bring up the use of the "R" word. i know that the people using that word around us don't mean any harm by it. but to me it's really offensive. every time i hear it i think do they think max will do something like that, or do they think he's not going be capable. i just feel that max, like any other typical child is going to be teased, there is no way around it, the fact is he will more then likely be called that word.... dose he really need to hear the people that are close to him using that word as well. i really don't like confrontation, but for the sake of my child i feel i need to say something. so here are my questions... what do i say? how do i bring it up(without making them feel bad)? how do i really make others understand,... those words really do hurt?
What day is it, even?
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It’s been nearly a year since my Dad had brain surgery, and yet, it feels
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3 years ago
It's a tough one... to approach people close to you. I'm a fairly straight-forward person, so I'd probably say something. You could always share Patricia Bauer's story about being at a movie theatre with her daughter and some teenage girls saying sometjing about her daughter (I'm sorry I don't have time to look it up right now, but google her).
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for me as well. But, I have told family members that I do not like the word and to please not use it as it is offensive to Noah. Most all of our extended family would never use the word but there are the same few who slip. I cringe! We had some teen girls use it at the pool last summer, their grandmother got after them( she was talking with Noah). I told a cashier that I was offended by her using the word with me and Noah standing there and everyone in line just looked at us. It gets your heart racing that is for sure. It is just not easy.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how to handle this as well. I know people (or at least the ones who have said it in front of me) don't mean to be rude, but I think saying the R-word is totally NOT necessary. Maybe saying, "Could you please not use that word around me and my son?" Either way, I am sure the person will be caught off guard, but if they are a good person, they will understand.....I hope.
ReplyDeleteI actually think I find it easier to deal with with people we are close to then with people we don't know. The don't know folks feel more like a confrontation to me. I've started just talking about how I'm making a concerted effort to not use that word or others like moron, stupid, idiot because now that I have a child who might be developmentally delayed I want to be more sensitive about it and I figure it is good to start now. I've done it at a separate time from when the word has been used. I've actually had friends come back and apologize for using the word b/c they didn't mean anything by it. Now if I thought for a minute they did- then I would get in lecture mode. But to start off I'm pretty forgiving because I figure people love us and this is something new- she's just a baby. If I'm correcting someone after the fact though it defeinately is harder- but I'd still have a harder time with a stranger then a family/friend b/c I don't know them or their story or how they may react.
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