Friday, October 2, 2009

is it just me?

is it just me?... or do other mom feel like they need to tell random people that our child has Ds.
for example...
we (lilly, max and me) just went out this morning and another mom was out with her son. he was up running around the store and ran over by us and sat down by max, who was still sitting in his car seat. he smiled at max.. max smiled back. it was really cute. then his mom ran over, and asked how old the "baby" was, i said a little over ten months. she then went on saying, oh my goodness my son just turned one year!!! he is so much bigger, wow your little guy is so tiny... my son is huge!
at this point i don't feel bad for max being so small but for this lady who thinks her child is a giant! i responded, well max was born with Down syndrome so he is a little smaller then the average little boy.
i'm not sure if it's something that i need to say or explain to strangers, i'm not sure if it's something that they can obviously see on their own or if i'm just blind to it, i don't know if just because i look at my beautiful child everyday that i just don't see Down syndrome. do others? do people we don't know see Ds? or do they really just see a small sweet little boy. okay, and if they do just see a small sweet little boy should i tell them about max, about Ds? i feel in a way i should so maybe if they never met anyone with Ds... now would be their chance, and they could maybe change some sort of thought they had in their head about a baby, child or adult with Ds. or would i just putting them in an awkward situation? does it make them uncomfortable when i talk about it?
wow, lots of questions i didn't even know i had until i started to type them!
oh and happy Down syndrome awareness month everyone:) i would love to take the 31 for 21 challenge but i know i wouldn't get to my computer every day. maybe next year:)

10 comments:

  1. Oh heck, who cares if it makes them feel uncomfortable that's their problem- shout it from the roof tops! LOL- just kidding, well sorta- I'm the same way,should I tell them, should I not but I'm getting to the point that I just want people to get over it already like it's no big deal, they're just like your kid in so many ways. I think what you said was perfect:)

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  2. For the first three years of Gabe's life, I was compelled to mention it. I'm not sure why...I still don't know why I felt that I had to "explain" what is simply a small part of my son. I think it is a natural phenomenum for parents who have children with Ds. Perhaps it is a method for us to work out our own inner feelings about our children and their rightful place in society? I'm not sure...but I wanted to say that I did the same exact thing.

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  3. Sara, I usually tell people if they strike up a conversation. I figure some people suspect but are too polite to ask - AND, I like telling people when people admire Ruby & how adorable/friendly she is - I hope that leaves them with a really positive impression of children with DS, you know?

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  4. If it comes up in the conversation somehow, like it did with you, and there's a need to say it, then say it. Max is beautiful, just like my Emily, and that's who he is and who she is, so why shouldn't we say it? I think it helps people's opinion of children with DS when they see happy and beautiful and healthy babies with DS like Max and Emily. It helps them to step back and say "You know, I don't feel the need to feel sorry for this child". So, I say, say it, say it, and say it some more cause that is who Max is!

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  5. I feel the same way, Im always asking me fiancé if I should tell this one or that one that he has DS because sometimes I really feel like I need too. And I always think about if they see he has a DS, sometimes I just forget about it and sometimes not, especially around other children I see so much diffrent that it makes me sad....but Im almost getting over that :) and to some people or in some circumstances I feel like it is very hard to tell them that my boy has DS!

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  6. You know, we've talked about this alot over the last few years, us DS mom bloggers...and it always gets quite a response because we can all relate! For me, I'm right there with Michelle Z. If there's even the slightest chance that someone can have a more positive outlook on kids with DS because they took the time to say hi to Braska or comment on her "cute little tiny glasses" then I'm all about the education at that point.

    BTW, I also wondered alot when Braska was younger if people just "knew" when they saw her. And for us, it seemed that they did...until her glasses came along. Then it's like Clark Kent or something! Now everyone seems to stop at the glasses and they never look past that. People seem surprised now when it comes up. We've had a few say that they're sure she doesn't have it, the docs must be wrong. (HA!) Just a cute girl in pink glasses and pigtails. What's not to love?!? :o)

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  7. I agree, I think you handled it perfectly. And like Val said it is part of who Max is, And I don't ever want Adam to be embarrassed by this fact so we talk about it very openly to Adam and others when a circumstance like that arises. Sounds like your a very smart mommy ;) and totally off the subject I have to tell you I love your music picks!

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  8. I would have done just what you did. I am open about telling people if the start asking questions or say Noah is so small and such. Happy ds awareness month!

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  9. Sorry I am commenting a bit late, but I have been out of the blog world for over a week! I am so there with you on everything you said. I have no answers, but I think it totally depends on many factors and each situation may be different. I have only had one person say "I'm soooo soooorrry!", and to that I say "Nothing to be sorry about! He is the best baby ever!...." I try to use situations like that to hopefully educate.

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  10. Wow, I'm so behind on my blog reading! But I had to say that up until Kayla was probably 2 I always felt like I had to explain that she has Down syndrome. Especially when accompanied by the answer to the question "How old is she?" She's five now and I rarely mention it at all. Even the other day when we were at the hospital and the nurse said "oh, she's so cute! Is she two?" I just answered that she was five without any further comment.

    It just seems to be part of the natural progression of things related to DS!

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